TOP HOLLYWOOD DIRECTOR SET TO DIRECT WRONG BIBLICAL EPIC

Everything old is new again. Our parents used to say this to us when we borrowed their clothes. It seems Hollywood was listening in because Russell Crowe has signed on to an "edgy Biblical re-telling" of Noah's Ark.

So if we're going to make trendy these historical retellings, let's just do the whole book so we're all on the same page about all this Bible stuff.


BALAAM'S TALKING DONKEY

PLOT: A sorcerer, a talking donkey, and an angel with a flaming sword do some stuff.

CASTING: The donkey could be Donkey from Shrek. Miss Cleo would be Balaam the sorcerer, and the angel w/sword is an open casting call.

Probably a short film.


JAEL AND HER TENT PEG